Last night I was packing up my big luggages for the third time in the past two months, but this time was different. This time I was actually in a different country, this time it was with a headlamp in the dark because the electricity was out, this time my clothes were drying next to a gas heater in the living room. This time, it wasn't easier to say goodbye. I am leaving for Neftchala on Thursday. I am scared, excited, happy, and sad. I am scared to be going to a new place, I am excited to start another new adventure, I am happy to be done with PST, and I am sad to be leaving the friends I've made. However, after tomorrow, I AM a Peace Corps Volunteer. It's the real deal. My dream since I was 16 just arrived. It's pretty wild. There's so many of those chest tightening emotions collecting in that place right below my throat. I am here to do what I came here to do and hopefully, hopefully, I will be successful at it. Hopefully people will understand me and will want to work with me. Hopefully students will find me an effective teacher. Hopefully I will be able to co-write, co-produce, co-choreograph the next big Azeri musical. There's so much to think about all the time. Part of me still thinks, "Where am I? What am I doing here and why aren't I at home cooking good food with Nate?" but another part is thinking, "I really might just be in love with this place." It's an uphill battle but I'm trying to have it all.
I will be getting my new address soon. I am living with one of the English teachers at my school, her mother, and her two teenage daughters. I've met her and it seems like she has a lovely family. I don't know when I'll be getting internet again, but when I do, you'll all get an update. Til then, gorusherik... See you soon.
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