PCV Survival Tip

Consider all your successes a big success, no matter how trivial or menial.

I left site for a few days for a much needed vacation to Tbilisi for New Years. It was perfect timing and a perfect way to escape the HUGE disappoint and failure that was Fall 2010. After wasting so much time and effort trying to convince my school’s director to give my counterpart and me our own room, we were denied, simply and blatantly. I ended the year with anxiety, disappointment, and self doubt which is sharply juxtaposed to the way I had started the school year: motivated, confident, and energized. In a short three months, complacency had sunk in its sharp, contagious claws and took hold. (If counting successes is a survival tool, complacency is THE defense tool.) I was stuck and little by little my heart was falling apart.

I honestly didn’t know it was this bad… until it became the time to leave for my trip, and I realized I was running, full speed ahead, without looking back. New Year’s was amazing. It will be one of those that’ll I keep recounting and reminiscing about in my old age. I came back rejuvenated, yet still apprehensive about returning to the mess, or actually to the nothingness, that was waiting for me at site. But then I remembered, Count your successes. In the first two days that I’ve been back, I’ve received so many.

Success. Having the boy that works the evening shift at your favorite store defend you from a group of insignificant, immature, cultureless boys who are throwing out disrespectful words at you. Success. At the post office, you strike up a conversation with three ladies, one of whom is the mother of one of your students, and discuss better teaching methods. Success.  Aforementioned student told her mother who then told you that she now wants to become an English teacher, just like you. Success. Having your apple guy explain to two separate people that you’re not a seller of random things but an English teacher from America. Success. A student of yours excitedly tells you that he came in first in an Azerbaijani literature competition in the region. You didn’t have any helping hand in his win, but if he felt the need to tell you, then you are now a part of the group of people that he wants to share good news with. SUCCESS.

Count your successes. They matter, every single one of them. My students say “Hello! How are you?” to me, not “Salam.” To me, that’s a success. I’m not lowering my expectations. I merely have a broader spectrum of appreciation. That is the big lesson learned of 2010.

Here’s to the year 2011! May it be filled with countless successes that keep your heart full day to day and every day. Happy New Year!