I come from an incredibly clean family. My mother brings surgical gloves to make the tent when we go camping. My aunt won’t let me touch anything but the handle of her stainless steel refrigerator door. My grandmother has been known to clean her windows for a full day. My dad hates it when food isn’t put into the fridge immediately for fear of bacteria. This upbringing has been known to affect me in ways that, to friends, seemed excessive. (I’m talking about an infamous moment four Halloweens ago where in a dingy hotel deep in a sketchy neighborhood of LA someone touched me on the shoulder after touching the remote control which resulted in me dropping big fat tears of horrific disgust. I died a little bit that day.) Since then, well really since coming here, I have had to make big attitude adjustments towards what I deem clean and safe and what I don’t. Shamefully, I must say, I have had to turn a blind eye every single day because if I didn’t, I would be rocking back and forth on my bed in panic.
1. I’m going to brush my teeth every morning and every night. Instead of just doing this little task every day, Azeris will just wait for a toothache and go to the dentist to get a big old gold cap. They ask me how my teeth are so clean and white. Somehow the connection between eating four pieces of candy a day and the need to clean your teeth is not made.
2. I forgot what a bread plate is. Bread plates are found on the table, the kitchen counter, my lap. Students (this I swear I will never do) put it on the little shelf underneath their desk.
3. I have made the theory that if you’re not washing your clothes by hand, you’re not in the Peace Corps. This is my least favorite thing I have to do. I HATE washing clothes by hand. I have blisters from doing it. Anyways, some of my clothes have (I write this with my head down, tail between my legs) gone without washing for weeks at a time.
4. I’m a lucky one. I get to shower every other couple days. My host grandma makes it to the hamam (shower room) once a week. Also Head & Shoulders is the most popular shampoo brand because of the dandruff that develops between weekly showers. Gross.
5. Most leftovers are left on the counter.
There’s more to list but the point is there’s a different mentality when it comes to what I consider clean. What they find matters more, is the appearances of clean. There are large markets for 1. Perfume 2. Shoe polish and 3 wet tissues.
The perfume is used to mask undesirable odors which could simply be removed by a quick shower. Women carry it in their purses and it is an uncommon practice to spritz each other without question. Yesterday one of my host sisters had stinky feet due to wearing a pair of shoes without socks. We all complained. Instead of washing them, she spritzed perfume on them.
I have never used shoe polish in my life, but clean shoes are incredibly important. I’ve never had to think about whether or not my shoes are clean because well, it’s easy to keep clean shoes when all the streets are paved. It’s not so easy when I walk on dirt roads between geese and cow dung every day. In the rainy seasons I don’t even bother. All throughout training I trekked round in this muddy brown boots that appalled Azeris wherever I went. But then coming up the same road behind me, were some impeccable shiny, clean black shoes. Azeris are probably the most incredible walkers in the world.
The moist towellettes come in handy not only for shoe cleaning, but for all things. They come in lovely nauseating scents like strawberry cream. A Saturday a few weeks ago I took some kids to play games in the park. One of the boys fell off a swing and got a bloody nose and lip. I gave some money to some kids to buy tissues and water. They came back with dry tissues and wet tissues. I tried to tell the boys to apply pressure to his nose with the tissue. He was only interested in wiping the dirt off his jacket from when he fell. Priority number 1.
In a country in which reputations are built on first impressions, appearance appears to be everything. I thought I was going to have to trade in my eyelash curler for a pair of Chacos. Who knew?
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